Coping Skills: The Tools You Already Have (and the Ones You Can Add)
When we hear the phrase coping skills, we might picture special techniques or practices we need to learn. But the truth is, you already have coping skills. Every single one of us has found ways to manage difficult moments — whether that’s through distraction, self-soothing, seeking support, or even shutting down.
Some of those strategies may not serve you as well today as they once did. And that’s important to acknowledge: even the coping skills that feel unhelpful now were, at some point, the best tools you had available. They kept you afloat. They got you through.
The work isn’t about judging those skills, but about bringing awareness to them — and deciding what you want to keep, what you want to soften, and what new tools you might want to add to your toolbox.
Here are a few broad categories of coping skills, with examples you might try:
Grounding
Grounding skills help you bring your attention back to the present moment, especially when anxiety, memories, or racing thoughts take over.
Noticing five things you can see, four things you can touch, three things you can hear, two things you can smell, and one thing you can taste
Feeling your feet on the ground and pressing them firmly into the floor
Naming the objects around you out loud to orient yourself in your environment
Regulation
These skills help your body and nervous system come back to a steadier state when you feel activated or shut down.
Slow, paced breathing (e.g. inhale for 4, exhale for 6)
Splashing your face with cold water
Using gentle movement, like shaking out your arms or rolling your shoulders
Humming or singing to engage the vagus nerve
Distraction
Sometimes the healthiest move is to give yourself a break from what feels overwhelming. Distraction doesn’t mean avoidance — it’s about creating space until you can come back with more stability.
And when chosen intentionally, distraction can actually support processing. For example:
Taking a walk in nature and letting your thoughts settle as your body moves
Cleaning up your space and noticing how external order shifts your internal state
Listening to music
Watching a lighthearted show
Doing a puzzle, doodle, or simple craft
Staying With Feelings
Other times, the skill is to gently turn toward what you’re feeling — with curiosity instead of fear.
Journaling about what’s coming up
Talking to a trusted friend or therapist
Noticing where in your body the feeling lives
Asking yourself: What does this feeling need from me right now?
Practicing a RAIN meditation (Recognize, Allow, Investigate, Nurture) — I’ll be sharing a guided version you can follow along with.
Recovery
Recovery skills are about what helps you return to a sense of balance after a difficult moment has passed.
Resting, even for 10 minutes
Drinking water or having a nourishing snack
Stepping outside into fresh air
Offering yourself kind words, like: I made it through this moment
Putting It Together
Think of coping skills as a toolbox. Some tools may be well-worn, others new. Some you may want to retire, others to sharpen. The more awareness and variety you have, the more choice you gain in how you meet life’s challenges.
And remember: even if an old coping strategy doesn’t serve you anymore, it once did — and it deserves gratitude for helping you get this far.
Practical Takeaway:
Take five minutes today to write down:
Three coping skills you already use (helpful or not).
One new skill you’d like to try this week.
Notice how it feels to honor the tools you already carry, while gently opening the door to new ones.
